Last night was the first class back since before Christmas. I think we all were looking forward to it, and it was great to see everyone (at least those who were there). We had two guest repeaters last night, and then we got our next texts. One thing Jolene had us do was spend 5 minutes journaling right after we had all repeated with each guest. I thought that this was effective as it really forced me to give my immediate impressions rather than sleeping on it overnight. For the most part my journal entry is word for word what I wrote last night. Anything NOT from my journaling last night is in brackets.
[Our first repeater was Brandon, who was in Bill Simmons’ first Meisner class. One thing that struck me was how laid back he was. When it was my turn to repeat with him,] I definitely felt rusty. One thing that I realized after working with him is that I have a really hard time NOT trying to be in control. I don’t even know that I’ve been aware of it until now. It dawned on me though that I am unable to let go completely and give myself over to my partner fully. Not sure what to do with this . Hoping that having the awareness will lead to change. Wish I could pinpoint what it was that led me to this realization – I think it was primarily a realization that when someone names one of my behaviors I feel the need to change that behavior. [I also realized that I feel slightly competitive both with the repeater and with the rest of the class. Almost like I have to be the best repeater. The irony is that this is really standing in my way, and is not conducive to scene work at all.]
Second guest was Deb. Very different energy. Brandon was very laid back, but Deb was very intense and animated. I felt that I was able to leave myself alone with Deb better, although I felt like I got lost about halfway through the exercise. I was having a hard time focusing and picking up on behavior. I also feel like I do better as an observer identifying places of improvement with text work. [Again, I noticed my competitive nature coming into play with Deb.]
[We’re off next week for MLK day, then when we return on the 27th Lukas and I will be doing a full exercise based on the text for a play called Blue Denim.]