Meisner Class Journal 9.24.24

Kelly Kel came in and repeated with us last night. I still feel very self-conscious when the guest repeaters start calling out behaviors that I find either don’t match my actual behavior, or are confusing. Immediately puts me in my head. “Am I really doing that? What am I doing that causes them to say that? Is it my body language?” Then I start to feel like I need to change behavior if I don’t agree with them. I just need to let all that go and focus on their behavior, but it always takes me a minute to refocus. That said, I felt like I definitely am getting better with the repeating.

Joseph has decided to leave the class. I’m genuinely sorry to see him go – despite his sometimes confrontational nature, he is just a big teddy bear. I’m not surprised that he dropped out, though. I was getting the sense that he was getting frustrated that he kept getting the same feedback over and over. I can relate. I feel like my progress has been in tiny baby steps rather than leaps. I hope to cross paths with him again.

Joseph’s departure left Mariah without a partner, and Jolene asked Lucas and I to fill in last minute. Mariah gave me the circumstances that they had worked out, but we ended up not presenting. I was relieved, because the IA I came up with on the fly wasn’t great, so I now have a few more days to reconsider. Lucas did a great job with his DAP with Mariah, though…very clear, specific work from both of them.

Paige and I did her IA and my DAP. I thought it went well, and the feedback was overall positive. One of my APs was to hide an amulet, but I think I needed to make that more specific as to how or where I was going to hide it. I realized when I walked in that there were too many possibilities which muddied that part of the exercise. Some of the feedback that I’m getting is that I’m thinking before acting, which I agree with. I have a really difficult time identifying subtle behavior changes, and I do spend time thinking about what they are and finding the words to use. Just need to repeat, not be right. Our second exercise went pretty well, however. I was more engaged with the activity and with Paige and spent less time trying to figure out what her behavior was. I enjoyed working with Paige…she has a really great energy and is very expressive.

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